It sucks, you know. When everything is doing fine, then it all crashes again. And the worst part is, I really don't want to try and put it all back together again. But I have to.
Life is a very funny thing. And so are relationships. You want to believe that there's one relationship in life that's beyond betrayal. A relationship that's beyond that kind of hurt. But there isn't. And sadly, I feel very betrayed but don't want to feel this way. I want to get back up and put things back to normal, to let everything go. But I can't, and I feel horrible about it.
I feel guilty that I can't forgive just yet; and there's that dark monster inside of me that doesn't ever want to forgive. It just wants to sit in it's cave of despair and anger and let the wounds fester. Let everything bottle up until something gives and someone eventually gets hurt. And I hate that I feel this way.
But than I think, it should be okay for me to feel a little hurt. It is within my rights to be angry.
So what is worse; feeling guilty about being angry about a betrayal? Or thinking it's okay to feel angry and not want to forgive? Can anyone help me sort out which one is worse???
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